diary of a nobody

Well I am astounded, I mean I am not very regular as far as my postings go. But I have just realised there are some mental people who write on this site. I have just been reading some bogs I haven't read before but all seem to be part of the "in crowd", well what a load of old bollocks, I mean you can all get so vicious and then theres all this name calling (which considering some of you already have the most ridiculous names to start with makes it even more pathetic ) Then there is all this, people making anonymous comments and others deciding who they must be. Then people turning out to have several different identities. Jesus I never realised how seriously some of us like sticking the motions of real life, in all it's banality, onto what could be an amazing way of opening up the possibilities of communication. Some people are looking at there computer screen's with very jaded eyes. We all have opinions, I thought this was somewhere we can share them. I'm going to stick to what I normally do, and say what I want, not feel I have to incite others, or please others, or try to replace any lacking in reality with drama on a computer.

WE DO NOT CHOOSE HOW MUCH OF OURSELVES WE GIVE TO OTHERS, INSTEAD IT IS IN OUR NATURE TO BE WHAT WE ARE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND US..........

In other words it would be daft of us to think we can protect ourselves from being hurt by closing down and not giving too much of what makes us "tick" away, in a kind of "I wont let that happen again" scenario. It simply doesnt work, and would lead to us living half lives.

.............Thought for the day over. I am currently recovering from a bit of a "I drank too many pints of lovely bitter last night" situation....... Again. The main reason for this is the fact that last night at the drinking emporium, it became clear that someone I am acquainted with may have rather taken to me. And I feel It to be within my powers to make more of the situation. She is attractive and rather pleasant by nature.This as set off a whole list of questions in my already deranged mind.....
1. Is there the slightest whiff that I may like this person,
2.I don't think I do?
3. Should I feel like a guilty contradictory fool for thinking for just a millisecond about someone else, when I am elsewhere in the "love" stakes.
4.Why has nobody else noticed the very obvious signs this particular young lady is showing?

......... I really don't need to make a thing about this, I am easily flattered, I am finding being on my own with the future hanging in the balance a bit difficult, work is stressing me out and not helping me to think straight about anything, and besides all that I ain't no cheater, I have seen cheaters, I'm not one of them. I may be officially single, and nobody would blame me. But I would be cheating on myself, to pursue someone for the sake of ego and other such negative reasons. Ive been too happy to become an untruth to myself.........