diary of a nobody

Well the grand exercise regime started today. Not with quite the flourish Id expected. Here follows a plan of my expected day- (yawn....)

*get up v early.

*Go out and cycle for many hours, or at least one hour.

*Paint for most of the day (i.e do some bloody work).

*Come over and use the computer.

..........and that was about it.Of course what I actuly did was-

*get up late to the sound of my father shouting about a veichle log book he has lost (I have so got to move out of home, recently I've spent more time at home than I have in years, and it's really getting me down now!)

*My mother announces that my devious plan to convince her to buy a computer has worked, so I duely escort her to various computer shops, pretending to know what the hell it is she should buy? (as previously explained I know very little about these matters so I decided a lap top was best, mainly so that I can make off with the object much easier. I also decided the greater the numbers used to describe the object the better. Sadly I dont know how great a ram should be, wether one thousend odd mb is ample or 2gb would be more appropriate? Its all a shot in the dark really!)

*Fail to purchase computer, but leave with a wealth of new knowlage.

*Attend to some work with my father(who has stopped wailing at this point)ferrying cars to nearby stafford ready for auction this evening.

*Finally manage to get on my bike (and what a carry on this was, I only went about two miles and then I decided I was a bit cold, and my legs were feeling the strain, and besides I hadnt brought any fluids, therefore running the risk of severe dehydration so I returned forth-with!)

*Did no painting (again)

*Came to use computer

.........and that was that, I feel I have waisted my day slightly.

On a different subject, I spent the whole of yesterday smiling. Why? Because the former girlfriend rang me from Kathmandu! This is how much of a fool I am. I know I should have said a million things along the lines of "Im so pissed off", but no, I said nice things, and just had a pleasent chat, the sort of which I have longed for.She said she was missing me, and she was missing home. Dont get me wrong there was no hint of "lets get back together", Im aware that wont be an option until the return, and Im not so silly as to think you can get back with someone when you are both many miles away from each-other. Anyway however daft it may be, I spent the day smiling?

Today Im walking into shop, someone bangs into me and what do I say? "sorry", I find I'm doing this all the bloody time. Someone steps on my toe, I say sorry, etc, etc...Obviously I'm a polite kinda girl, but I think I should keep the sorry's to occasions when I do something wrong and stop appoligising on behalf of others!.....Anyway here I am in dvd/internet cafe, although it shouldnt really be called a cafe, as it has no form of refreshments or light snacks, or gingham clad surfaces to be seen?
Now I should be working on my paintings (I have 6 commisions waiting to be finished/started) but I felt the more pressing issue of my "must exercise" plan needing attention. So off I went to "bike shop" to buy a new pump, to re-inflate my flat bike tyres. this is where I had my "dont say sorry" idea.Of course while I was out and about I thought I'd better come and mess with a computer for a while...
So my plan is to start cycling on a daily/weekly/yearly basis, I'm not quite sure just how often I will manage yet? Ive decided cycling is best for me, mainly because Ive got worn cartlige in my left knee (or so I say anyway) so jogging is out. Really im at my happiest doing weights or some other non-impact work out, (I hate impact)whilst watching tele.
Alas I do feel I need to move about a bit more (cars dont really do the job. I did think about using some form of public transport, because that allways looks like a lot of moving about. Sadley my freinds told me catching a bus dosent count as a form of exercise, and besides I dont really know where the bus stops are or where the buses go to?)
So after ive fished my bike out from amongst a pile of bikes ive previously bought and mostly just look at from afar. Then I just need to either stop smoking or try and cut down a bit, and then im away?.....................

P.s "sorry" for the awfull spelling today, but the cafe dosent seem to have a spelling aid at the top of the screen like the other computers I use? Im sure theres some simplistic way of sorting it out, but Im far to dim for that!

By the way Stoke-On-Trent is not "10 years" behind, just in case anybody bothers to watch big brother, I don't of course (lying), It was stated the other day that on account of the childlike, behaviour of those twins, all people of my City must be in some way backwards! Well when I heard this whilst watching the wireless, I almost choked on my cup of tea, I immediately, threw on my frock coat and top hat, jumped aboard my new fangled horseless carriage and went to tell my friends. Incidentally they all agreed Stoke on Trent and its surrounding Borough wont be 10 years behind for at least another 75 years!

All change indeed, It would seem that my errant former girlfriend is "missing" me?
Before my secondment to France I was incommunicado with former girlfriend. Now I'm receiving e-mails from the Himalaya's, presents from deli. You would think id be over the moon, yet no, I'm just pretty confused. I mean my logical side says, and allways has said, "She made the dreaded end of relationship call, two weeks after going away she was confused and should have waited a while to settle into her ever changing surroundings. And now she done that four months into the trip, she is starting to realise what was important to her, me!" but I am wavering in my fatalistic attitudes, I actually sat down the other day and for just one moment wished I could go back two years to my previous life where all my friends faces had looked the same for years, and the girls came and went (literally) in my life, with great ease.
I'm still totally in love, if I won the lottery tomorrow, or became reasonably wealthy tomorrow, Id be on a plane to which ever country shes in, just like I reply to all these recent messages with lap dog like cheerfulness. When what I want to say is "I spotted at least two girls in the photos Ive seen on your blog who are SO gay, and therefore I'm worried sick that you may be shagging one or both in some kind of Nepalese orgy (shes in Nepal at the moment), rendering our future happiness lost forever"
The strange thing is I'm fairly certain that it is within my power to sort this all out on her return, I know I could have us back together in a shot. But what concerns me now is "do I want to", I cant have this pain again, I need to be put before some bloody "once in a lifetime" trip, and why should I say O.K lets get back together when I said we should never have broke up!!!

That's the end of my rant.CONCLUSION- Women myself included are a total pain in the arse.